Life As I Know It

The brevity of life is unbelievable. Life is so fragile - and we don't even know it. We often times notice this when it's too late or it is close to being too late.

I honestly believe that God is so great in situations where life is taken away from us or compromised. This has been really interesting to me as of late. After loosing Honey Gran last September (which, I cannot believe it has been a year on the 12th!) I have been reminded that life is something that only my Maker could have created.

Although loss and struggle is such a complex and harsh reality, I believe that this is one of God's most shining moments. He shows us that there He is waiting for us. He is there to comfort us. To console us. To be there for us in a way that no human is capable of. All other comfort is a mere glimpse of what he is placing through those who are surrounding us.

A friend was in a car wreck yesterday and it is another reminder that life is not ours but His. Thankfully she is okay but it is still such an eye opener. She is in the ICU and prayers are being sent to God constantly. I just know it. It reminds me that we are to live our life not for each other but for Him. He gives and He can take away. This friend is honestly one of the sweetest and most loving people I have ever met. Although we are not close she is known to be this way by all.

I believe God puts these situations in our lives on purpose. To give us a quick reality check and remind us that He is a force to be reckoned with.

C.S. Lewis once said, "In the Christian story God descends to reascend. He goes down to come up again & bring the whole ruined world up with Him"

He only left us to come back for us. What an awesome God we have to sacrifice everything for OUR forgiveness.

I love my life! I want to live each day to the fullest! I want to make the best of each and every day I live!

So today,

I am now dedicating myself to making someone else's day better. Making someone else feel beautiful. Making someone else feel so SPECIAL.... Because they are!

Everyone deserves to feel uniquely loved, simply because they are and they have the right to know it!

I hope to keep you updated with my journey in this.

xx

c

j

Take me baby, or leave me

So I'm back into the school grind which would explain my lack of blogging. Tuesdays and Thursdays are killer.

Does it ever scare you that you are making a wrong decision? or get sad because you miss something in your past?

That's happened to me a lot lately. Not sure if it's the whole being back at school deal or what. But I'd say I'm officially in a funk. Or something a little less than a funk. Call it.. a.... fink?

Dunno but I'm ready for it to be OVA.

Need to focus on things that make me happy. And RUN with it!

DJ got us falling in love

Last night was a great night. I mean this entire trip has been filled with amazing nights that never cease to amaze me. But last night... was chill but very fun!

Jason picked me up and we went to his place to wait for Sam and Patricia. They were sweet girls so I was glad I, ahem, came... haha

I've just been thinking about how weird and awkward it is when someone famous introduces themselves. Like what do you say? "Oh yes I know who you are..." very awkward.

Last night we arrive to My Studio on Hollywood next to Geisha House and getting to the door I see Frankie from The Hills. Of course I look for his Hills counterparts and I see him standing with Lauren just chillin. We go inside and she introduces herself "Hey I'm Lauren" (that awkward instance happens here...) and I'm like "Hey I'm Caroline nice to meet you" then she is excited and says "I love your nailpolish!! I just painted mine baby blue the other day!"

Very funny.

We got to sit with some of Jason's friends at their table where they showered us with all of the beverages we wanted. I have had the best luck while here in LA with stuff like this. I've never not had a table to sit at. I am scared I've been spoiled rotten!

We were going to have our own table but good ole Ray J was there shooting his new show "The Family Business" for VH1 - JOY! haha sighting #2 of my boy RAY. It was funny because we didn't want to sign a waver saying we could be on the tv show so we steered clear of the seats up top. The girls looked like hookers anyways... Not gonna lie.

ANYways the music and dancing was soo good and fun. I had a blast.

Meeeting LC was the icing on the cake.

Good good night.

Besides the awkwardness at the end that is... muhahaha

We Will Become Sillhouettes

Something that continues to baffle me is love. I believe and know love is something that cannot be stopped. However, I've learned that I am good for talking myself out of things. Purchasing an expensive pair of sunglasses, doing an assignment due in a week, and more importantly, I feel as though I've talked myself out of love recently. It's not that it wasn't strong enough. But I think that I am too much of a romantic with too much insight for reason... Therefore, I made my heart believe being in love was not enough. Although I know this untrue, it helps me sleep at night. I am independent and self-sufficient. I can't help it. It's the way I'm wired. I want a love like heaven.

I know love is real.

I know I have seen love.

I will wait for love.

And until then... I will love myself.

I am happy.

The glove compartment is inaccurately named

And everybody knows it

So I'm proposing a swift orderly change

'Cause behind its door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm

And all I find are souvenirs from better times

Before the gleam of your tail lights fading east

To find yourself a better life.

I was searching for some legal document

As the rain beat down on the hood

When I stumbled upon pictures I tried to forget

And that's how this idea was drilled into my head

'Cause it's too important

To stay the way it's been

But there's no blame for how our love did slowly fade,

And now that it's gone, it's like it wasn't there at all

And here I rest where disappointment and regret collide

Lying awake at night

And there's no blame for how our love did slowly fade

And now that it's gone, it's like it wasn't there at all

And here I rest where disappointment and regret collide

Lying awake at night, up all night

When I'm lying awake at night

Today is the day!

I love Edie Sedgewick. This is a pic from Factory Girl when Sienna Miller (my favorite) player her with Hayden Christensen as Bob Dylan. Absolutely love that film. Isn't this picture fabulous?

Currently OBSESSED with these new WildFox ads. So so fun.

This is my dream. To live in a red farm home, at the top of Runyon Canyon, in the Hollywood hills. I would live there with my 3 children with chickens, goats, a golden retriever, a pomeranian, and my insanely handsome husband. We would drink wine on the back porch and overlook all of LA while the sun was setting.

Lasso - Phoenix

Preeeetty Rainbow

So something I would do. Ha!

I love this effortless Urban ad. Wellies are my favorite. I am trying to decide what color of new Hunter Boots I want for fall. I'm thinking red but I'm not sure...

"Mile high klub"

I'll always always always love Mary Kate and Ashley. I relate more with Ashley but I just love both of their sense of style so much. Even if sometimes it's a little more "trashbag chic." They can dress up and look gorgeous as well. I want to be their triplet!

Crooked Teeth

'Cause I built you a home in my heart

With rotten wood, it decayed from the start

'Cause you can't find nothing at all

If there was nothing there all along

'Cause that night the sun in retreat

Made the skyline look

Like crooked teeth

In the mouth of a man

Who was devouring, us both

You're so cute when you're slurring your speech
But they're closing the bar and they want us to leave

I'm a war of head versus heart

And it's always this way

My head is weak, my heart always speaks

Before I know what it will say

Elizabeth and Airey invade LA!

What a weekend. I'm honestly at a loss for words.

Here is a few of the memories:

• Rides in Goldy Hon (Goldie Hawn)
• The antenna and radio situation
• Having to wait at Katana, rude hostess
• Voyeur... old geeks
• "nursing homes by day, partying by night"
• take your jacket off for tha pic
• since you wouldn't sit on my lap i got us the bigger table
• street performers in venice
• fefora
• my headband
• sitting on the roof, leaving cups on top
• missing cup on the downstairs couch
• talking cat
• iamdaman88
• Stephen
• Kevin aka keith
• Hotel Roosevelt bc Keven invited us
• Keith's bathing suit
• Keith spilling champagne on airey
• Meeting the asians
• Rick
• David sees us taking a pic
• they come sit with us and we exchange sunglasses
• Izayaka for dinner, airey's pink sake
• me crying for the cab driver, i can be an actress
• winnie the pooh (twice)
• Edwooouard LovaLova
• Can you dig it?
• lingo, the hang of it
• Asians... picking us up? Without Jason?
• Jasons apartment, gay roomie
• Off to hyde we go... taking lots of pics?
• Wait, we have to hold hands? you're with HIM! and you with HIM!
• Colony hahahaha
• Roosevelt hotel... lobby
• Creeps speaking in Hebrew
• French boys
• "You weren't into you were her" "Not at all."
• SEEING HIM AGAIN THE NEXT NIGHT AH!
• Locked out at 3am
• i wish i was okay with stealing
• Chin chin stupid waitor
• disco nap
• headbands
• pent-house

Love and Happiness :)

I seriously do not remember the last time I was this happy. Well, take that back. I do, but it was quite some time ago when things were simple and I was young and in love. Turns out I am STILL young and STILL in love.... WITH LIFE!

This morning I just woke up feeling so blessed and encouraged that God's bigger plan for me is in action.

Airey and ET come to LA to stay with me today! They will be here until Sunday night. I'm so stoked because we are going to have so much fun, of course.

"You can always find the sun within yourself if you will only search"

-Maxwell Maltz